A friend and I got to talking about yoga.
Her eyes looked a little sad. She said that she would have to loose weight first before she could start practicing yoga.
NOT TRUE!
She said that she had a back injury. Yoga wasn’t for her.
NOT TRUE!
Show up to the mat as you are. Even if there is a sense of resistence to the end part: “as you are”?! Who am I? I am not a good person. I am not thin. I am not happy. Frankly, I’m angry. I am not flexible or athletic. I’m old. When you fight every moment to forget who you are and more importantly that you are – the invitation seems a bit scary and misdirected. Meant for someone else that has their shit together. Then, by all means, simplify – show up. Find a yoga tailored to your needs and your body. Inform your teachers about an injury or sensitivity. For instance, there is slow yoga practices, and you can even practice yoga sitting in a chair.
Perfection is not the prerequisite of yoga; nor is it the goal.
Here’s the pith: If I waited for the obsessive intrusive thoughts of self-harming to cease before I could focus on doing yoga… then I may never be ready. These disturbing intrusive thoughts of self-harm have been at the forefront and at the background of my life since a young age. These thoughts probably once served as a way to cope, and have later become a hinderance. They have evolved over time. I consider them a harrowing ache that I don’t allow myself to indulge in fully. It takes great strength to allow the intrusive thoughts to take their course without giving the ache too much traction. The promise of soothing relief I imagine from self-harm could not cure the passing malaise, and would only further complicate my life. Feeling the pain and letting it pass over me. This isn’t always a very graceful passing.
Yoga is a way of taking care of yourself that goes beyond looking to see if you are imitating the ‘ideal’ configuration of a pose.
It’s a very personal experience of you and your body. This is why I often practice with my eyes closed as much as possible. I don’t want the deception of my eyes being concerned with outward performance of others and myself to be at the forefront. Looking with my eyes oftentimes leads to thinking about the experience, whereas looking throughout with my heart helps me to feel my body and the immediacy of presence.
You can be at war with yourself and do yoga. I may not practice yoga as often as I would like, but I find that its my thoughts about what a yogi should be that often leads to procrastinating. If a yogi is someone who embodies serenity and peace then this assumption can lead to harming exclusions if you recognize that you do not possess those qualities. Maybe yoga is just a way to bring about the conditions needed in order to explore the peace and serenity that is already in you, in your movement and breath. The practice of yoga is just a way of remembering your inner peace.
Language Boucherie 